


Beyond Dreaming

by Mister_Spock



Series: Star Trek Beyond- Missing Scenes & Additions [21]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Bad Dreams, Gen, Nightmares
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-25
Updated: 2017-07-18
Packaged: 2018-11-19 02:07:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11303526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mister_Spock/pseuds/Mister_Spock
Summary: Spock is unable to keep the nightmares at bay, taunting him of what happened on Altamid.Complete.





	1. Chapter 1

It was dark, not nighttime, but dusk. 

He pulled himself out of the crashed craft and this time, instead of McCoy’s startled voice and his steady hands ready to help him, Spock fell to the ground.   
There was no one there with him. 

His hand clutched at the metal shard protruding from his body. Every breath, every beat of his heart, sent pulses of pain throbbing through his body, a pain he couldn’t control.   
He got to the edge of the craft and rested against it.   
McCoy’s words, the ones he’d spoke to him in reality, not this sick twisted nightmare version he was constantly forced to live through when he slept, came to him about how he’d die if he couldn’t take the metal out and so he’d take two or three deep breaths and yank on the metal that lay within him. 

It came away in his hands then more green blood to add to the worrying amount that now flowed freely from the gaping wound by his heart.

From there, things always went a different way. 

He’d bled out on the ground before, laying there helpless as the blood pooled around him. It would get in his eye as he lay face down, and everything would be tinted green.   
Other times he’d dream that he’d panic at the amount of blood that wound start to pump from the wound and he’d start desperately trying to find a way to stop it. It would always be too late though. He’d grow weak so quickly.

He’d dreamt that he removed the metal and felt fine, only to be captured and killed by the aliens that took their ship. The most recent one had him laying prone bleeding out on the shuttle as he watched helplessly as Jim and Uhura raced towards him, faces screaming in fear and terror as they were chased by the alien craft each shot getting closer to them until the final one saw their faces contort in pain. 

And tonight his mind had created a fresh torment for him. McCoy arriving to save him just after he pulled the metal from his body but when he went to help, ludicrously, his arms dropped to the ground. McCoy stood there, dumbfounded, both arms at his feet and Spock’s blood started to cover them. Strangely enough, even though McCoy’s arms fell off, he did not bleed. Nor did he appear in any pain.   
There was a ridiculousness to it that Spock still found chilling. 

But still, the dream as always caused Spock to wake with a gasp. 

He was wet with sweat and he took deep ragged breaths feeling as though he could never get enough.  
His hand lingered at the scarred tissue where he’d suffered his injury. It was healed and caused no pain now, just the memories of pain.   
He’d tried for so long to put these thoughts behind him but had failed every step of the way. 

Not long after the mission, McCoy had offered him any help he needed. Spock dismissed him, said he needed no help, and it had been the truth then. Spock had felt fine but then suddenly these dreams plagued him. 

He began to dread nightfall and meditated much more than he slept, which wasn’t unusual, but he was starting to just put off the sleeping altogether. It didn’t help because every time he did sleep, the dream returned. He’d been stubborn and he needed to seek McCoy’s assistance in the matter. 

Despite how he felt about it, he reminded himself McCoy was a good friend and more importantly, he was a professional and would treat the matter with the discretion that Spock would want.   
And he wouldn’t judge him. In fact, it seemed from him broaching the subject beforehand that he anticipated some troubles. 

There really was nothing to lose from going to see the Doctor. 

Mind made up, Spock resolved to go down and see McCoy when his shift started.


	2. Chapter 2

Resolved as he had been to see Doctor McCoy, Spock found himself regretting it the moment he sat down. 

“So what's the deal then, huh?” McCoy asked. He was looking between two data PADD's and using a third to make notes. Clearly, Spock's timing was all wrong. 

“It is not important. I shall return when you are not busy.” Spock said. 

“Spock, don't go. Just, give me one minute.” McCoy quickly saved what he was doing. There was no way he was letting Spock walk out of sickbay when he'd walked in there of his own accord. He didn't look ill, but it could be hard to tell with Spock. He was exceptionally good at keeping his pain under wraps. “Okay. You have my undivided attention.”

And now he had it, Spock found he didn't want it. He wondered if it was too late to just get up and leave. The silence obviously stretched on for longer than McCoy was happy with.   
“You know, at some point today I do have to see my patients.” McCoy said. 

Spock stood up at that. “I apologise. I made a mistake-”

“I'm joking, Spock. I'm trying to get you to relax, not to leave. No idea why I thought a joke would relax you. Let me get a drink for both of us and you can think about what it is you want to tell me.”

McCoy placed a herbal tea down for Spock several minutes later and sipped the coffee he had got himself as he took a seat. He didn't want to just sit and stare at Spock, but his lack of attention before seemed as equally off putting. When Spock hesitated still, McCoy encouraged him. “Just say it. The main problem, whatever it is, and then we're work from that.”

“I am having nightmares.” he said, blurting the words out a little more than he meant to. 

“Okay,” McCoy says, without batting an eyelid. “I'm glad you came to me about it. Would you like to talk about it?”

Spock opens his mouth but then stops himself. “I just wish for you to do something to stop them.” Spock says after some thought. 

“Spock, it doesn't work like that. Dreams aren't something that can be controlled. I'm guessing Vulcan's don't talk about dreams and nightmares.”

“It would not be experienced by a full Vulcan.”

“Bullshit.” McCoy replies and catching Spock's rather surprised reaction, he amends. “I had a dog for years back on earth that used to twitch when it was sleeping. Parents told me he was dreaming of chasing rabbits in a field. And if that dog could dream, a damn Vulcan isn't above it either.” McCoy took a sip of his coffee. “Point is, your half Vulcan, half human. Even if Vulcan's can't dream, you're half human and they certainly can. Now, if you're having the same recurring dream, then there's probably an issue that's playing on your mind and we can try and work on it. But I need you to talk to me.”

“It is not the same.”

“Okay. Tell me about one of them.”

“They are all to do with Altamid.”

“And what happens? You reliving it?”

“To a degree. It is never the same as what happened. It usually... ends differently.”

“How?”

“In many different ways.”

“C'mon Spock. You came to me. Just tell whatever one you're most comfortable with.”

“Dying alone,” was all he opted for. 

“Always?”

“No. Other times someone is there, but it's often too late.” 

McCoy nods thoughtfully for a moment. “But you're not afraid to die alone, are you?”

“It is not my greatest concern,” Spock admits.

“I had bad dreams as well, you know. Kinda the same as yours as well. Not being able to save you.”


	3. Chapter 3

“So how do I make them stop?”

“Well, that's not so easy.” 

“How did you stop yours?”

“Well, I tell Jim about them usually. We share bad dream chats. It helps. Laugh about them. It doesn't stop them.”

“I believe Nyota would listen if I wished to speak about them with her.”

“Of course she would. Did you guys... sort things out?”

“We have sorted some things out but are refraining from dating again. For a short while.” 

“Your idea or hers?”

“Hers.” 

“And what do you want?”

“I do not know. That is the problem. She does not deserve to have someone who can not decide what they want.”

“It's not easy. Split heritage gives you split responsibilities. There isn't a right or a wrong choice you can make, as long as you do what you think is right, for you.” 

“What if what is right for me, is not right for her?”

“Well, you can only make a decision that feels right and she has to make her own decision. I mean, worse case scenario is you pick her and she doesn't pick you.”

“That thought is... terrifying.”

“Then maybe you really do need to talk to her. And not just about the nightmares. You know, just because we dream about one thing, it's not always what the real issue is about. Maybe the problem here is, you don't know how to move on.” 

“I would say that may be an accurate account of what is happening.”

“So stop talking to me about dreams and go and see Uhura.”

“Thank you, Doctor.”


End file.
